Some people born in 1998, 1989, 1980, 1971, 1962, 1953 or 1944 have what is called the “Mother” personality.
They are sweet and generous of spirit, kind and thoughtful – your first thought always being about your family and how you can help someone else.
This makes you very responsible and also makes you someone who is prone to make decisions out guilt and obligation.
Over time if you have been “feeding” others and not yourself, this sweet nature can be forgotten entirely, in exchange for being someone who is perpetually in a victim mindset – “After all I give you, this is what you give me?!?” Then nothing anyone does is right.
Thankfully things have to be awful in order for you to be this way.
But what to do? What is the solution?
I once heard a phrase the other week that “good fences make good neighbours.”
A farmer sets out this land, marks boundaries, to keep her sheep with her sheep, her cattle with her cattle, and more importantly so other farmers and neighbours can know what’s theirs and what’s his.
In no way is it aggressive or selfish for a farmer to set up fences.
In fact greatly helps those around her.
If she doesn’t, her animals wander, her means of living disappear, and neighbours are more likely to claim her land as theirs.
So what ways can you set a boundary, a fence?
If you’d like more coaching on developing boundaries, then please take a look at my appointments and fees, or contact me at email@example.com.